idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
