she looked like the before picture.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
