who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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