Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
