I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
