I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
