were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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