I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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