Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
