Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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