i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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