Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
