drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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