help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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