PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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