Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
