i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
