I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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