We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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