well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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