No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
