Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
