I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
