Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
