I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
