But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
