My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
