I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
