What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
