I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Pants are for mortals
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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