PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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