I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wear drunk well.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
