just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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