even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
