I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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