My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
