somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the room spins SO much faster in panama
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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