If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
