This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize