I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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