I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
