i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
