My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
