we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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