u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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