I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
they need to just BURY HIM!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
