YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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