dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
