hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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