im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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