my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
