Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
