This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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