Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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