Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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