Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
