At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
