Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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