naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
