I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
