So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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